Rose. by William Pham

04/02/23

Rose.

She was too sweet for me to even care. Well, in a way but I was just too lonesome to allow room for concern. I believed as long as one knew how to use their words, all was good. I was wrong. Who would’ve thought the person you liked best would be the one to walk out so easily? Your ‘bias’ in the classroom’s self-proclaimed social circle. You begin to ask yourself if they felt any shame. Any regret that one day could eat them whole? I introduce The Star of the Show. It was April 2021 when I visited a flower shop to pick up a bouquet. When making my way over to the cashier, I was taken aback by a familiar face. She turned around, confirming to be the one and only Rose. Exuberance filled my entire being as the two of us exchanged delightful greetings. In July of the same year, the two of us started co-running a creative content project. We anticipated the project reanimations after proposals were scrapped due to unprecedented setbacks. Rose and I would soon find more time to bond as we were assigned to the same English class for senior year. Autumn was off to a great start.

The majority of the fall season was a distinct euphoria. That is until I encountered an inauspicious obstacle. A momentary dispute aroused anger and confusion. Rose and I abruptly stopped talking for a while. She began to ignore my phone calls. For the next few weeks, I purposely avoided walking past her in the school hallways and took the longer route to classes. I started to miss Rose, so I met her for lunch. When arriving, I put my belongings on the table as she glanced at me. No words were spoken throughout the entire period. The silent treatment prevailed for a couple more days. As the Spring semester began, I was determined to put a means to an end. On an April morning, I walked hastily into campus, determined to resolve matters with Rose. As she headed to the dance room, I stopped in front to greet her—The response carried an aggravated tone. Although The Star of the Show’s inflection made me a little distraught, I remained hopeful. The conversation following this awkward confrontation would leave me baffled for months.

“William, you always think the issue is about one thing when in truth, it has to do with many other things,” Rose said with a stern look on her face. Bewildered, I requested elaboration. She exclaimed she didn’t see any genuine friendship, and she saw no point in associating herself with me. She then gives me an insincere apology after I try to tell her about my recent hardships. The session ends with the two of us walking in opposite directions to class. I was content with the results of our little ‘heart-to-heart’ as I was desperate to repair the quandary highlighted these past months. However, after some reflection, I realized nothing had been repaired. Just one ugly truth had now unveiled itself. She was my friend; I was not hers. I trivialized the unfortunate upbringing of this climax. The stages of this downfall were present from the beginning; I simply kept the jumble of memories buried in the back of my head. If I had been less lonely, I would’ve taken the initiative to shut down this relationship years ago. Reality struck down on this unstable dynamic. I’m happy she cut me off. It was either her or me.

“Dear Rose, I hope you’ve been able to persevere through all your endeavors. It’s been a slow-burning series of events since our last meeting. I miss the times when you would comfort me. I thank you for all the times you dealt with me, as I may have given you an emotional burden. Maybe we’ll see each other someday. If not, I hope we both get what we want.”

Sincerely,

William Pham.